Sunday night, my club had their annual Christmas party. For the past three years, it's kinda like my 2nd chance prom. I always try and look good and I always try and take someone that's way hot. All PR is good PR in this case. This year, our party moved from Taurus in Buckhead to Ten Pin Alley in Atlantic Station. Before I continue on, let me express my hatred for Atlantic Station. I went to a movie there about a year ago and it was the most clusterfucked experience I've had since... Well... I had a catheder in my cock once AND THAT WAS MORE PLEASANT.
Anyhoo, for all you non-ATLiens, Ten Pin Alley is a bowling alley. It's a nice bowling alley near midtown that actually employs several Mr. Smith clones from the Matrix and they are 'roided the fuck up. And these are the first people you see before you walk in the door. Again, A BOWLING ALLEY. You'd mark it zero if these guys thought you were "over the line."
Sure, the security people really don't have a reason to live but this wasn't my issue. I left my iPhone in the car to charge while I was at the event and totally forgot about it. Yeah, not too wise on my part. I actually left pretty early and took sexiest girl alive for a beer somewhere else. When I got home, I couldn't find the phone. I figured it was karma catching up with me for making fun of my friend Nate for leaving his iPhone in a taxi a week earlier.
I naturally assumed that I had just taken it out and left it somewhere. Believe me, the last thing that was on my mind when I left the party was a fuckin' telephone. I bitched and moaned about it all day Monday at work and happened to mention it to an ex-girlfriend who was hanging out with some of the valets that night. She sent me an email later on telling me that one of said valets was showing off his new iPhone to people. Of course, the screensaver is a picture of me and another chick in Santa costumes. What an eeeeediot. So I've had to start the process of trying to get this butthole fired, busted, and hopefully punched in the face. I already know that it's gonna be relatively easy for me to track if the phone is re-activated through my cell phone provider.
I just talked to the owner of the valet company and he pretty much assured me that they were gonna fire the guy regardless. I'm filing a police report today so I'm covering my bases. But fuck man, dropping an additional $400 really chaps my ass right now.
2 comments:
Jamie, my friend, you're entering a world of pain.
Christ, that's got to be the most quotable movie ever.
Oh yeah, you're prolific. How many weeks since your most recent post? Three. Are we going to have to wait until your next man-period to get a post?
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